Everyone wants Rob..

It's kinda of hard for me to admit this, because it's kind of disgusting and unethical.

I won't lie, though. I would've so done Rob when he was in Harry Potter as Cedric Diggory. Yes, he may've been underage, and I was obviously legal. But, hello. Look at him. Would you not want to roll around in the sheets with this young lad? Sign me up!

Or better yet, him in Vanity Fair?

Those old pictures of Rob are amazing, don't let me take that away from him. But, NOTHING compares to Rob now. No one really knew who he was before Twilight even tho he's been in numerous shows. But, now that everyone knows who he is, they all want him. From crackheads to housewives, Robert Pattinson is now a household name. But you have to ask yourself one question: What would you REALLY do if you had Robert Pattinson for one night?

I don't think I should share my evening plans with everyone being that most aren't PG-13. Hey, I'm a woman who knows what she wants, I can't help myself. I'm sure there would be some discussion of his hygiene and if he showered within the last week before we engaged in our sextracariccular activities. Hey, even I have standards. And I'm sure he will want to take me to In-n-Out Burger to get dinner. We need all the strength and energy we can get for our long night of "snogging". Oh, the fantasies.

His status in Hollywood now is bringing admirers out of the woodwork. He has everyone from Eva Mendez to Natalie Portman, to Bruno wanting him. It's amazing what a little fame and a shower will do for you.

All I have to say is: Rob, pucker up them cheeks buddy. Bruno's coming for you.

Vacation..

Sorry, guys. I'm in Myrtle Beach on vacation. I'll be updating later this week with TONS to comment on.

Until then, I'll leave you with this....

Rob's "Manhood"..

Okay, so I was over at RoAr (Random Acts of Rob), and I saw this picture were they were discussing the worst things Rob could START doing.

One of their points was the tragedy it would be if he actually started wearing underwear on a normal basis.

Usually, I think "free-balling" it, or going "commando" as guys call it is digusting. But, in Rob's case, it's art. And, to be honest, if he were to start wearing underwear on those particular days when he wears extremely tight pants, I'd die. We'd all be deprived of seeing his manhood. The body part that God gave him for a specific reason. May the reason be to make us swoon daily when we surf the web looking for pictures of him in tight pants. Or, it could be that God wanted him to reproduce and make a TON of LiL Rob's for the world to love. Or, it could be God's personal gift to me. You know, when Rob finally realizes he's in love with me and leaves Kristen/Emilie/Megan/Nikki/Camille or whoever he's with this week, and he shacks up with me. I would get to see that wonderful "gift" everyday of my life, and I could die happy.

Whatever the reason may be, God gave him his manhood and I THANK GOD that Rob loves to share that with us by wearing TIGHT pants with NO underwear. I also THANK the photogrpahers for getting the right angle of shots to grant us with photos like this one:

And I say now, like I once said before, it's not the size of the boat, baby. It's the motion in the ocean.

Rob, please, continue to find the tightest pants you can, and ignore putting on underwear in the morning. In fact, when you come over to my place, come nude. It's less of a hassle and we can get straight to the point.

Run, Rob, Run..

I'm sure everyone has seen the pics from the set of Remember me that surfaced yesterday in NYC. Rob's working very hard on this movie so he can finish in time to do Eclipse in August. All the man wants is to get back to his trailer so he can light up, kick back, and run his fingers through his beautiful hair that God gave him.

Well, let me just say THANK YOU to these girls right here. These girls who may have tainted ANYONE and EVERYONE'S fan status in Rob's eyes. The girls who have him terrified to go take a piss by himself. The girls who ruined ANY of us gettin' a hug and an autograph. The girls who made him more than likely piss his pants. The girls who probably have him in therapy now. The girls who have him second guessing his career choice. The girls who made all fans look like crazy slutbags. The girls who are in serious need of a good shanking. THESE GIRLS:

THANK YOU, CRAZIES!! Thank you for making the man of all of our dreams completely terrified of us! We really appreciate it.

I'm not going to lie, I'd prolly be in tears too if he walked by me, but in all honesty, I wouldn't throw myself at him. I wouldn't grab him if he didn't want to be touched, and I wouldn't try to run infront of him so he couldn't move. I wouldn't want him to think I'm nuts BEFORE I got to touch him. Weren't you thinking? Thanks to YOU girls, he's probably going to start carrying a shank.

If you weren't so crazy, and being such a mob, we couldn't gotten better pictures. Beautiful pictures. Pictures that make me have to hold onto something when I see them. Pictures like this one:

Please, stalkers, remember next time. When you approach THE Robert Pattinson, do it with grace, do it with style. Be nonchalant. He's not going to want ANYTHING to do with you if you're foaming at the mouth like some starving pittbull. Make the rest of us fans look good, not dangerous. GOSH!

Chelsea Lately..

So, I was on http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/ today and I found this video from Chelsea Lately from last night.
Of course, I totally disagree with what Chelsea had to say about Rob, but her co-anchor, was HILARIOUS! I'm pretty sure he may love Rob more than anyone.

Chelsea Lately June 12 , 2009
Uploaded by officialspunkransom. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

My favorite part is where she asks if Rob and Kristen were together and the guy spazzed out. "THAT'S TOO MUCH HAIR FOR ONE WOMAN!!!"

Dear sir, you're my hero!

I no longer fear Robsten.

As we all know, Rob and Kristen are filming movies in between the Twilight saga movies.
Rob is in New York filming "Remember Me" with his BFF/boy toy Tom Sturridge. And, Kristen is in LA filming The Runaways (The Joan Jett story) with her new BFF Dakota Fanning.

I'm sure I wasn't the only one in the last couple weeks who almost had a heart attack when we saw the pics of Rob and Kristen the morning after the MTV Movie awards. But, rest assured fellow Rob fans! Not only has almost EVERYONE debunked the rumors of a "hookup", they've also put together theories about that morning that's made all of us realize that it's just not true.

Besides, we all know that Rob has better taste.

But, I was checking my daily websites today, and I stumbled across a set of pictures with Kristen's new look for "The Runaways". Not only was I disturbed, but I was also relieved. Behold:

Oh, I know, I know. She's supposed to look like Joan Jett, but wowza!! She looks like a scary emo BOY who is lettin' their locks grow out.

Like I said before, I'm relieved. If Rob is shagging THAT and he's okay with it, then I've lost all my will to live. But, I just don't see them hooking up with her looking like that. It seriously grosses me out. So, until her locks grow back and she dyes it back, I can rest assured and get a good nights sleep.

Robby, hon, she's more masculine than you are. She's awkward, dazed, and most likely confused. Mainly due to all that chronic she's been inhaling. For goodness sake's you had dinner with EVA MENDEZ last night. I'd be all about that hookup, she's gorgeous.

If this picture doesn't make your mind up for you, Rob, then I guess we are no longer.

Ohh la la..

So I was doing my usual, and cyber-stalking Rob. checking his updates on whereabouts, and seeing any news related to him. I stumbled upon this page that has nothing but videos of him.

I'm not feeling remotely humorous today, so I'm just going to post a couple of these videos. They made my day. The songs are amazing, and the pictures are just flat out orgasmic.



The song in the video above is AMAZING. So how I feel about you, Rob. Just remember, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean.

Robert Pattinson - British Gigolo
Uploaded by foof76. - Watch more comedy videos and sitcoms.

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen, and oh so the truth. Well, most of it.
Rob, you now know how we see you through our eyes. Dazzling.



And of course, this isj ust the song I imagine to be playing in the background when Rob and I do it for the first time (that night). It's okay, Robby, don't be embarassed. R Kelly is a legend.

Robert Pattinson Bump n Grind
Uploaded by robert-pattinsondotca. - Watch feature films and entire TV shows.

Maybe I shouldn't have watched these before I had to go to work. Impure thoughts will fill my mind. It'll be the death of me.

Bromance..

Well, we all know that guys have their little bond that we all like to call a "bromance". Sickening? Maybe.

Rob's got his own little entourage. Sam Bradley, TomStu, and Bobby Long.

Our suspicions were confirmed on Rob's whereabouts on Sunday afternoon when pictures surfaced of him in New York City.

Behold "TomBert".

I'm glad Rob has someone he can chill with, confide in, and cry on. not to mention the other various activites that he and TomStu can enjoy together.

I'm sure before every interview or live show, TomStu gives Rob a pep talk. I'm sure before every movie premiere TomStu helps Rob slide into his very tight pants.

I'm sure a gallon of crisco was used to slide into those.

TomStu may even be on set of each of the Twilight films to help Rob wax his beautiful chest.Who knows? I'm sure I'm not the only one who ponders how deep their "bromance" really goes. What line will the meaning of friendship cross with these two?

Rob, let me just warn you. I'm glad for your best friend, don't get me wrong. But, you know how girls get when they are best friends. They get territorial, bitchy, and conniving. I know you and TomStu have been friends for many, many years now, and that's wonderful! I'm sure you two even having matching friendship braclets, and I'm super jealous. Just don't let him come between your other relationships. First and most importantly, ours!

Don't let his head mysteriously pop up in our family portrait. Don't let his time of the month destroy our family vacation. And God forbid, when he comes to you claiming that I tried to sleep with him, don't let that destroy our life! You have to remember, TomStu's not used to sharing your attention and I'm afraid he may try to take it out on me.

TomStu, I would never dream of taking your beloved best friend away from you. Here's just a couple reminders for when you come over. No mentioning Rob's ex-girlfriends. Especially Kristen. I know you'll do your best to ruin my night. No talking about how you knew Rob before he was famous. I don't want you getting all nostalgic on us and making Rob have second thoughts about his career choice. We all know he just wants the normal life. And of course, when the socks on the door knob, DO NOT DISTURB.

If you can abide by these few rules, Tom, we'll have no problems. Your little "bromance" can continue. Who knows? Maybe you two will be starring side-by-side in a movie here soon. You know Rob will pull some strings for you. We can make this work, TomStu.

I'll leave you with this.
Bro's before hoe's does NOT apply in this situation.

Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.

This is a great day for me.
I know I may never, wait, let me rephrase that. I WILL never see Robert Pattinson naked.
I know, I know, such a tragedy. But, TMZ released this video and I couldn't believe my eyes.
It's the closest thing to Rob porn I will ever get.

Enjoy.

Wowza..

I have nothing to say. No witty comebacks, no insight.

My mind is totally blank. Watch this and you'll understand why.